The Life of Brian’s Statue: Left Hand Down a Bit!

Brian Clough’s statue in Nottingham muses on his life and what’s happening in the world today…

Now then, we’ve had this lot in power for a few weeks and I’ve never seen folk walking about looking so bloody miserable. They’re called the Con-Dem’s aren’t they? Sounds about bloody right! I’ve seen the newspaper headlines – they’re talking about cuts, cuts and more bloody cuts!

Y’see, I don’t believe in everything being owned and run by millionaires – those buggers haven’t got a clue. Industry and hard work are what it’s all about. That’s what people need – something they can get stuck into on a day to day basis, just like my lads – yer John McGoverns and yer Archie Gemmills. They weren’t afraid of a bit of honest hard graft.

Now, some people might say, What’s he on about? They might point out that I paid a million quid for Trevor Francis and then for several other players. They’d be missing the point. That kind of transaction for that kind of player is called investment – simple as that.

But this bloody lot – these Con-Dems, they’re like used car salesmen – any chance to make a pile of cash and they’re slathering away like a pack of wolves. That’s what all these cuts are about.

It’s a shame when money becomes the most important thing in life. Just like yer used car salesman with all his flannel – telling you his outfit is a family business that’s been going for generations. Just like the Mafia. You pay out a few thousand quid for a heap of junk with a leaky fuel tank and dodgy electrics. And they’re telling you they’ve done you a favour. Then, y’get yer Con Dem government telling you that they’re going to bleed more and more money from the working man, with higher tax and wage freezes. All to save money. Another bargain!

The state of the world today eh?

It’s just like a car crash. Drives me round the bend!