Lower Bridgford Stand goes to polls in independence vote

After months of campaigning, history is being made today as supporters in the Lower Bridgford Stand vote on the controversial issue of independence.

Voters are being asked whether they think the Lower Bridgford Stand should become an independent stadium and break away from union with the rest of the City Ground.

Alan Salmon, leader of the ‘Yes’ campaign, made a final address in which he told supporters gathered in the car park: “Too long has this proud stand been imprisoned under the tyranny of the other stands who do not represent us. Today we will go to the polls and show them that we’re fed up of A-Block starting all the songs and the Trent End having all the half-time entertainment.”

An independent Lower Bridgford Stand, Mr Salmon said, will gain autonomous powers to start their own chants, pick their own goal music and even start Mexican waves themselves.

In recent years the Lower Bridgford Stand has been granted limited devolution and greater rights for its population, but the desire for full independence has not been quelled. Mr Salmon has led a vibrant and passionate movement while the ‘No’ campaign has been accused of apathy and negativity.

‘Yes’ voter Stanley Dup told LTLF: “When we get independence, no longer will we have to put up with people in the Brian Clough Stand moaning that our noisy antics are ruining their quiet Saturday afternoons or old gits in the A-Block sneering about our trendy new songs.

However, Gordon Bexon from the ‘Better Adjacent’ campaign urged voters not to take their stand into the unknown: “The ‘Yes’ camp have not set out a clear pathway to independence – they have failed to answer key questions, such as how people in the stand will actually be able to see the football if they move the Lower Bridgford away from the City Ground.”

However, Mr Salmon dismissed these criticisms: “We have fantastic resources and a strong identity in this stand. We also have access to 100% of the away fans – when it comes down to it, that’s what the ‘No’ campaign are concerned about, where they will get their away fans from in future.

“I have absolute faith that a stand full of proud Lower Bridgfordians would be able to overcome any obstacle it faces, including not being able to see the match. Mr Bexon is forgetting that as well as away fans, we have a giant screen showing the game, for instance.

“Combined with a supply of bottled lager, unpleasant hot dogs and a poorly ventilated smoking area, Lower Bridgford possesses all the elements required to strike out on our own. We don’t need a pitch to make the Lower Bridgford an amazing place to sit and watch a game of football.”

Such has been the surge of support for the prospect of Lower Bridgford secession, the City Ground hierarchy are believed to also be concerned that the Upper Trent End may follow suit and demand similar independence from the union.

One inside source told us: “If Lower Bridgford do vote ‘Yes’, they will soon find life tougher than they expect. For a start, they’ve got another thing coming if they think we’re going to share the City Ground trophy cabinet with them. We’re going to offer them the 1989 Simod Cup and that’s the lot.”